The trap of assumption
 

Sometime in 2005, I was the guest of Jubilee Church in Manchester, pastored by Bimbo Komolafe. When I got in, there was a prayer meeting going on, so I was made to wait in an office. That was fine by me particularly as I was drawn to a fully loaded bookshelf in front of me. I started to riffle through the books. One caught my interest. I don’t even remember the title now but I recall it was a book on the ministry of worship in local assemblies and it was written by a gentleman by the name David Flavell.
    David Flavell’s book was brief and blunt. He had a straight to the point approach in his writing. The one thing I will never forget from reading that book was what he wrote. He said never ASSUME. He said when we ASSUME, it makes an ASS out of U and ME. Got that?! Bringing it home, I’ve realized that if I communicate more, become more open and confrontational when necessary, there would less stress and strife in ministry.
    I will like to share a true life story with you. The only thing I’ve changed is the name of the two persons involved to shield their identities.
    It was one week to Christmas 2006. The choir was involved in rehearsals for carol service. Because they didn’t start rehearsals early enough, they had to have practice sessions every day before the event. This of course meant a few people had to leave work a bit earlier.
   One of such people was Susan. Susan spoke to her supervising manager and asked if she could be let off work an hour before closing time. Her request was granted. One day to the event, Susan arrived early for rehearsal. But midway into rehearsals she stepped outside to receive a phone call. And she did that twice in the course of the practice period. There’s a general zero tolerance for phone calls during the rehearsal period except deemed urgent. Ugo, the head of department monitored her movements. And what made it crucial was that Susan was one of the strongest alto singers, so her absence was distracting to say the least.
    After Susan’s second time out, Ugo questions her as to what’s up with her going in and out receiving phone calls. These were his words, “Madam, why do you keep going up and down” Seemingly innocent question you would say. But then, it seemed that statement added salt to an injury that Susan had. Ugo sensed an attitude and told her she won’t be on stage with everybody else with the rest of the choir the following day. Susan says no problem. Ugo mentioned his decision to me, being his supervising pastor. And I said no problem because I trusted Ugo’s sense of judgment.
    The carol service went well. Susan didn’t come to church. One of the things I hate to do but have to time and again in managing the music ministry is confronting people. I called both Ugo and Susan into the office the following. In confronting two parties, please never assume anything. Always listen to both sides. I have been fooled several times because of my silly assumptions and prejudices. Armed with experience [experience they say is the name men give to their mistakes], I asked Susan to state her side of the story first and then Ugo.
    Susan’s account was that her overall boss was the once that called her twice during the rehearsals and had been very cross with her with respect to leaving the office before closing time. And he had called her Madam, telling her that she should not continue to misbehave even though her dad was a director of the company. Who wouldn’t be distraught after such a phone call? And then when she steps back into church, Ugo calls her madam. Of course, Ugo had little or nothing to say afterwards.
   Our assumptions and suspicions are not usually valid. Communication and confrontation can quickly bring an end to the delusion that assumption and suspicion inspires. Discernment is not the same thing as suspicion or assumption. Let me ask this – have you ever had to rehearse one song you had performed so well and it seems to take forever for nail the song? You had thought that it will just take 15 minutes. But 1 hour and fifteen minutes after, the song has not been nailed! It’s happened to us too. On one occasion we realized that it was because the bassist was hungry! So we took an offering and told him to go eat and come back.
    I pray that the Spirit of God’s love will be shed abroad in our hearts on and off stage. I pray that God will break down the walls that exist in our choirs, making us united that we might enjoy the blessing that comes thereby. Amen

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